Laugh for the day

This one's too funny to not pass along (my apologies to blondes)...


A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons, nor prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slide from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the horse's side anyway.

The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when, to her great fortune....

Frank, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her dilemma and unplugs the horse.

And you thought all they did was say 'Hello' ..

Dear Mother Nature -

I would like to know what the Puget Sound area has done to tick you off. Imagine our surprise when we woke up this morning, March 15th, and found 3" of snow on the ground with more coming down. Seriously, enough already. It has snowed here as much as it has in areas where snow is normal. You've never made a person long for rain as much as you have here in the Seattle area this winter. People here don't know how to handle snow, so it makes those of us who do really annoyed. Not to mention we live where snow is not really conducive to driving. Have you seen the hill we must go up and down to get places? It would be fun for things like the "vomit comet", otherwise known as a sled (that's for my family and Kaari), or an alpine slide. But not a car.

And I do appreciate an occasional day off from church. Especially when I haven't prepared my lesson. But this is getting a little crazy. You could have at least waited till next Sunday when I am responsible for sharing time. Not to mention the NCAA basketball tournament starts next weekend. That's more basketball than a person can take in one weekend. Not that I have anything to watch. While I am asking for things, can you send a good little storm to Billy Gillespie's house? Can a "coach" do more to destroy a basketball team and fan base than he has done this year? Go Kentucky, win the NIT! Sheesh.

Anyway, thanks for listening. We'd appreciate no more snow this year. If that means a little rain, then so be it. But no more snow.

Sincerely,

Kelli

Now that I am done with my rant, I got a little creative yesterday. I do this every now and then. For those who don't know, one of my hobbies is making cheesecakes. Since these are not really high on the health food charts, I don't make them often. But I felt the urge to try to something new this weekend. So here's my chocolate turtle cheesecake.

This is quite the tasty little treat. It's got a brownie "crust", with chocolate and caramel swirled through the cheescake. Then pecans and caramel on top. It's quite rich, but man does it taste good. For those who live near me, feel free to come try some. If you can get through the snow.

Since we are stuck at home today, this afternoon I'm going to try my hand at a seafood gumbo. Fun times at the Kill house!

There are no words....

This would be my husband talking on his ham radio. Now, I haven't read any of the books on how to use a ham radio, but I'm guessing nowhere does it say standing on the kitchen counter is required. Furthermore, he's talking on the telephone to someone about ham radios while listening to his ham radio. And he says he's not a nerd......

On a different, yet just as funny, note, we went roller skating last weekend with our friends Nick and Courtney, and their son Morgan. Here's some evidence:

Karl was quite smooth on skates, I was impressed.

Karl doing the hokey-pokey. Yes, they still do that.

Nick, Morgan, and Karl (and some random girl) making their way around. This rink actually had strollers for kids who weren't comfortable going it on their own. Pretty smart.

Karl, Morgan, Nick, and Courtney. Karl managed to skate backwards and not fall on his butt. I could barely skate forward and not fall. I didn't ever fall, but the opportunities to become acquainted with the floor were plentiful.

Me and some random kid. He was showing off. I was trying to stay upright. All in all, it was a fun night. I couldn't believe kids still did this, but there was a good amount of kids there. The one thing I found funny was we were skating to hip-hop, which isn't the first kind of music that comes to mind when I think about skating rinks. I'll take my Phil Collins and Madonna any day of the week. That shows my age, huh?

What to do...

So I am really unmotivated to do any work today, I don’t know why. Perhaps it’s because we are having a big jobsite lunch today, and we office people are doing the cooking. Which entails us being busy with non-work related stuff for most of the day. Or it’s because I really don’t have a whole lot to do. Or it’s because what I do have to do is not really pressing for time or important-ness. Or maybe just because I don’t care today. Whatever the case may be, I’ve been at work for 2-1/2 hours now, and accomplished nothing, but:

1. Checked for the millionth time in the last week if Lauren has decided where she’s going to play this summer. Stupid rumor-starters.
2. Read ESPN.com, and discovered that the money hungry professional sports world is suffering in this unfortunate economic downturn we are currently in. And that guys who make $10 mil a year live paycheck to paycheck. And that a guy who stands in a field for a couple hours a day during the summer, swings a wood stick a few times, and maybe actually hits something with it on occasion, can’t bring himself to sign for a measly $25 million to do this for seven months. The gall of a financially faltering business to even think of such craziness! Never mind this country has allowed this person into its boundaries to take advantage of this situation. Shall we escort him back to where he came from and remind him what the rest of the world is dealing with?
3. Contemplated the seriousness of the fact that two of our co-workers each have a husband that is going to be deployed to Afghanistan in a few months, and what this will mean to each family. And how working on a military installation brings the realities of the world front and center into one’s life.
4. Wondered what my life would be like if I quit working. I have a friend going through the same dilemma. It makes for good conversation, and deep thought. Life’s priorities and one’s health vs. not having to worry about finances as much as many people are right now and what fun stuff we get to do because we have that second income.
5. Found a friend on Facebook I haven’t seen in a while, mainly because he’s somewhere over in Iraq. It was fun to reconnect.
6. Listened and sang to some NKOTB on the way to work, just to remind myself of the fun times and make me smile. Then some Nickelback, you know, to remind me it's 2009.
7. As an all day event, I’m getting mentally ready to witness my husband speeding around a hardwood floor on roller skates this evening. As Karl says, “I’m the man on skates!” I already laugh at the thought. I’ll definitely get pictures of this.

Well, I’ve wasted 15 minutes typing this. I guess I’ll go search the internet a little more. Maybe Lauren has decided by now.

I am officially certified... in nothing.

I have gone crazy, to the point I think Karl has considered checking me into a crazy house. When asked if I could call in sick and get away with it, he said, "Don't worry, you're not lying. You need mental help."
I passed the LEED test this morning. To say this is HUGE would be an understatement. I have driven myself nuts with this test. And it means nothing to my career or my well being. Why Christine and I went to such stressful places over this we will never understand. Christine was my counterpart in this struggle. If not for her going through it with me, I would have quit a long time ago. She says the same about me. What is funny is we don't even technically work together, she works for the Corps, the customer for my project. The fact that we spent so much time studying together in her office at lunch could be detrimental to me job-wise. But I don't care. I passed the stupid test. And so did she.
So the next few days will be days of recovery, of getting my mind back. And hopefully convincing Karl I am not permanently damaged. I've literally made myself sick over this, which is ridiculous. Whatever the case may be, I am now: Kelli Dixon-Kill, LEED AP.

In my absent-mindedness, we actually did have a fun little weekend two weekends ago. My company had their annual meeting at the Tulalip Hotel & Casino, which is north of Seattle. The entire complex was bulit by my company, so I'm sure they got a good deal. We got three free nights in this place, which I must say was absolutely gorgeous. It was a nice relaxing weekend, which we both needed. Karl kept me away from the tables, which was probably a good thing. We spent a little too much money at the outlet mall, but we did manage to purchase a kettle-corn popcorn maker, which we have been searching for ever since Courtney introduced us to them (thanks Courtney!).

The best moment of the meeting was our "fancy" dinner for employees and guests. While all things are more funny in the moment, this one line made our dinner and still gets us laughing. There is a guy that works out here that is from Salt Lake, but he has this country-boy, meat and potatoes kind of attitude. He's pretty funny, and isn't shy about what he says. While eating our mixed greens salad with an allotment of assorted toppings, he and his wife were noting that we were not eating salad, we were eating weeds. And the more he talked, the more fired up he got. Finally, he yells for all to hear, "I don't want weeds. Give me some iceberg lettuce and friggin tomato!"
To that end, I say have a happy day!

Let me vent please....

I need to vent for a moment, so please bear with me. There is a group of people out there somewhere that back in the early '90's thought up of a good way to rip people off, make a ton of money, and make anyone involved in construction hate life. Perhaps they were sitting at home, unemployed from their construction or architect's job, and said, "hey, how can I annoy the living crap out of my former employer?" I'll invent a program that sounds good, but really accomplishes nothing. In the meantime, I'll make it really expensive, so I make a ton of money even though I do nothing with it. What do you have? LEED!

Yes, LEED. It is some green building idea that is a day late and a dollar short. Unless you're the one who thought of the idea, then you have plenty of dollars. For a mere $400, you can sign up to take the test to be LEED certified. For another $10k or $20k, you can register your project as LEED approved. If you have a question for the LEED people, it will only set you back a measely $500. And starting this year, to maintain your LEED certification, it costs $50 per year. All so I can put LEED AP after my name, like a doctor puts MD after theirs, and so your project can stick a piece of paper in a $5 frame from Walmart saying your building is LEED certified.

Now, you ask, what am I getting so riled up over? This concept, in theory, is great. It requires you to design and build something with the environment in mind. In reality, it is a royal pain in the #$%. You have to document everything, up to and including how many screws you used and where they came from, and design things around words like evicivity and thermotranspiration. Yes, those are real words. But Karl is a certified mechanical professional engineer, and my friend who I am taking the test with, is a certified civil professional engineer. You'd think they would have heard of these words. NO! And speaking of the test, I have to take a test to say I am LEED certified. This test can probably rival the bar, or the test architect's have to take, or, as my friend has confirmed, the professional engineer test. All so I can put LEED AP after my name at work, and know that the albedo of a surface should be around 29. Don't ask me what that means. I read it last night, but I don't remember.

So, the picture at the top of the post would be what I look like when studying to take this test. It's hard to really be motivated to study for something you think is total hogwash and a complete waste of time. But then again, when I am done, I can determine how to use recycled gray water to flush my toilets, know that green seal is for paints & coatings and green label is for carpet, or how to determine the glazing factor of a window. How many of you can do that? Hopefully, none of you. You don't need to deal with the insanity.

Thank you

I love the game of basketball. That is no secret, and no surprise to anyone who knows me. It's taken 4-1/2 years for Karl to still not understand the level of that statement. I've played it pretty much my whole life. I coached it for 4 years at the high school level. And I watch it whenever I get the chance. I've met countless other coaches, including some big name ones. I met Geno Auriemma and Roy Williams at a coaching clinic. I met Sheri Coale at a coaching clinic. If I ever have a daughter who is fortunate enough to play college basketball, I hope she chooses wherever Coach Coale is. I got to know the Stanford coaching staff while living in California. And a few years ago, I got to sit on the bench during a game between Stanford and Oregon.

I've been able to witness the growth and development of women's basketball over the years. When I was a little girl, it was common to hear other girls say they were going to be the first woman to play in the NBA. This, of course, because there was no option for women to play professionaly, unless they went overseas. Now, girls don't say, "I want to be like Michael Jordan." They say, "I want to play in the WNBA and be like Diana Taurasi". It is an amazing thing to be able to say our generation is part of this movement.

This past weekend, one of the pioneers of this movement passed away. Kay Yow coached at North Carolina State for longer than I've been alive. While she is not a coach I ever said, "I hope to meet her some day", or ran a program I followed, she is still an inspiration to any female who has ever played sports. She helped pave the way for encouraging girls and women to not only grow to be good people, but grow to be good athletes. Her efforts to make women's sports a norm, rather than a Title IX requirement, is one that should be lauded. She also helped bring to the forefront of all our attentions the battle women face in breast cancer. It is what ultimately took her life.

To Coach Yow, I say thank you for making it possible for me, my sisters, and all other women to play sports in a forum that may not have been possible without your efforts. I also say thank you for making your struggle with cancer known, so more people are aware of the disease, and understanding of how important it is that we address and cure it.